Edinburgh Fringe FullMooners signed bottles

Last night at a very special Edinburgh Fringe FullMooners benefit gig, the acts all signed 2 bottles of limited Edition Single Cask 16 year old Arran Single Malt Scotch Whisky which we will be auctioning off later in the year during the Glasgow Whisky Festival.

John Bishop, Stephen K Amos, Phill Jupitus, Jason Byrne, Jason Manford, Ed Byrne, Brendon Burns, Phil Nichol, The Pyjama Men, Glen Wool, Terry Alderton, Andrew Maxwell, Sir Tim Fitzhigham and Lady Carol all performed in a benefit for Comedy Director Paul Byrne who, at the start of the Fringe, was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma.

Big thanks to the guys at Glasgow’s Good Spirits Co and The Creative Whisky Co for supplying the malt.

Details on the auction to follow.

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Edinburgh Fringe charity bottle signing and auction

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Big thanks to the guys at Glasgow’s Good Spirits Co and the Creative Whisky Co for these two exceptionally rare bottles of 16 year old Single Cask Arran @ 51.8%abv. Tonight at Edinburgh Fringe all the Paulmooners acts will taste from & sign 1 bottle which will be raffled tonight. And sign the other unopened bottle to be auctioned off during Glasgow Whisky Festival. Proceeds going to Paulmooners and A.N.other charity still to be chosen by the GWF people. https://www.underbelly.co.uk/node/5204833

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Mixing Mumford & Whisky is very risky.

A brilliantly funny Blog from Whisky-online.com. Well done.
 
 
 

The future of whisky.

The future of whisky.

Diageo’s head chief of things Dr Ebenezer Plinth has announced that Mumford & Sons are to take charge of all areas of their Scottish distilling programme, all Diageo distilleries will come under the umbrella of their new leadership. The announcement comes shortly after the revelations in an STV interview with the band in which they declared an interest in creating their own whisky, twiglet-faced key pusher Ben Lovett said

“It’ll happen. It takes a few years to make, so we better get cracking.”

Dr Plinth said in a press statement,

“…natural instinct and knowledge such as that just can’t be learned, Ben and his band mates have clearly just been born with whisky hard-wired into their DNA, that’s why I’ve just fired Jim Beveridge, Nick Morgan, Caroline Martin and Keith Law to make room for Mumford & Sons.” 

Not as good as Mumford & Sons. At least in terms of whisky knowledge.

Not as good as Mumford & Sons apparently.

The move was instigated after the band implied that their whisky would need at least three years of maturity, a level that would keep it in line with their music and fan base. Marcus Mumford (the fat one) said after the announcement:

“This is great news for us. We’ve always wanted to make a whisky that would be suitable for the kind of muddy, ecstacy strewn shit fields we like to play. The kind you can imagine selling to an undulating crowd of surging media twats that will happily pay £5 a shot. This is right up my groove man.”

Mumford & Son’s first line of duty will be applying their natural flair for distilling across Diageo’s entire range of distilleries helping distillers to understand how to make perfectly decent whisky in only three years. Speaking privately in a really relaxed manner loo-brush faced Ted Dwayne said:

“I’m really excited, I think once we’ve done our first cask then that will probably be the biggest hurdle out of the way. Obviously the second cask is always tricky but we’ve got some really cool new ideas about where we’d like to take our whisky, I mean that the beauty of where we are right now and where you are after your first two casks, the third and fourth casks can really be anything you want them to be. Obviously we want to experiment with rapping, we spoke to Jay Z about it, he’s really into micro-brewing actually. Wait, are we still talking about about whisky? You’ll have to forgive me, I’ve just had a Tizer, I’m a little out of sorts.”

When pressed about specific initiatives that Mumford & Sons would be working on Dr Plinth said:

“…well the boys have some great ideas about where to take the Talisker Weather Series, I’m really looking forward to the next edition which will be called ‘Storm 2: Stiff Wind’. They’ve also talked about changing the Johnnie Walker portfolio by replacing the word ‘label’ with ‘babel’, they said it would sell more bottles because people would think it was their second album in liquid form and that it was cool because it rhymed and I’m not one to disagree with that kind of market intuition.” 

Seen here collecting the 'most bullshit, ill thought out, middle class thing to do with all your fucking money' Brit Award sponsored by Alex James and all his fucking cheese.

Seen here collecting the ‘most bullshit, ill thought out, middle class thing to do with all your fucking money’ Brit Award sponsored by Alex James and all his fucking cheese.

Peter Dinklage lookalike and lead Banjo throttler Winston Marshall has already outlined the band’s plans to record their forthcoming album in the warehouse at Royal Lochnagar distillery.

“Well we really want to fuse our two scenes together but also it’s common knowledge that musical vibrations can help make really mellow flavoured whisky. Our brand of soothing folk-rock is perfect for lending whisky that real smoothness that it should have. Also whisky is a grass roots industry, just like us, so it’s fitting that we should record in an environment that is totally all about wood and rusty metal things and dampness and shit. We can’t play in every warehouse that Diageo own but they’ve promised us that they’ll play our music through loud speakers during working hours. That way the whisky will improve but the workers will also have a workplace filled with chilled out vibes.”

Dr Nick Morgan said while waiting for a bus back to London:

” I can still pay the guitar better than all of them put together, even if you cut off my hands and dragged me to Sunderland behind a pair of flatulent oxen! Do you have any spare change?”

 

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Wetting the Royal baby’s head.

Last month a limited edition bottle of The Macallan Royal Marriage Single Malt Scotch Whisky sold for £1,000.

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With the royal baby news and 10 days until the expected arrival of my own 2nd child, should I open this one and toast the 3rd in line to the UK Throne… or now that it is likely worth twice as much, stick it up for auction?

Is any whisky worth TWO GRAND?

George Orwell would not approve

With 8 distilleries Islay is Scotland’s most famous island for whisky. However although it claims only one distillery its neighbour Jura is probably Scotland’s most beautiful island.  Or at least it used to be. Sadly, Google, 2013’s equivalent to the Ministry of Truth, have decided to erase the island from history and cartography.

As you can see from this satellite image Jura sits off the west coast of Scotland, immediately north of Islay.

google with jura

 

Google maps however have decided that the island where George Orwell penned his literary masterpiece 1984 is no more.

google missing jura

 

Although strangely the A846, the island’s only road seems to float across the Gulf of Corryvrecken – home to the World’s 2nd largest whirlpool.

 

Jura’s inhabitants life their life under a veil of superstition. Google claim not to know the origin of this error, but their prophecy is that it will be fixed before the week is out. So before google decides that the Duriach’s whisky should also disappear grab some whilst you can.

 

Follow the BBC’s reporting of the story at http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-23331456

 

 

Whisky Comedian’s Top Ten tunes

I made this list of top tunes to have a dram to a long time ago and posted it in the top tens section. I figured that with all the music festival podcasts being put up this summer it was the right time to revisit those choices, by adding which whiskies I think go best with which songs.

Here is the Whisky Comedian Top Ten Tunes for a night of dramming.

10. Curtis Mayfield – Move On Up

Simples, something that starts with a punchy beat and is full of brass. Once it’s started there is no way you can keep your head from nodding to the beat. Gotta be Benromach 2000 port wood finish.

9. Happy Monday’s – Step On

The ultimate Madchester tune needs the ultimate Madchester whisky, it’s infectious, it’s baggy, it drops your head to your chin and makes you bend your elbow, to have your hand at shoulder height, so you can swirl your drink round in a big glass and enjoy it sip at a time. To me that says Dewars 18 year old.

8. Stevie Wonder – All I Do 

Warm, soulful, sunny beaches filled with love and saxophones that you can’t help but sing long to. Glenfarclas 15 year old.

7. Gat Decor – Passion (Do You Want it Right Now Mix)

Fists clenched with index fingers pointing, hands up in the air, face grimacing, hips jiggling non stop and a massive need to SING… What I want right now is a Lagavulin 18 year old Feis Ile 2013. 

6. Orbital – Chime

Look don’t judge me badly… please. To keep up with Chime I need a caffeine hit. Some people will have Irish coffees, but in my raving days the dance floor drink of choice was double whisky and red bull…Chime needs something furnace like, so Double Smokehead & Redbull.

5. De La Soul – Saturdays 

It screams partying New York stylee. It’s gotta be a bourbon hasn’t it. Nope, it’s definitely Scotland’s party distillery Bruichladdich and in particular their Bruichladdich Cuvee 407.

4. James Taylor Quartet – Starsky and Hutch Theme

Most definitely the Glenfiddich 21 year old Havana Reserve. It’s one big party with a funky Latin American / Caribbean vibe and (because it’s got Havana in the name) if you try and sell it in the US the cops will be after you.

3. Kraftwerk – Pocket Calculator

The forward thinking German electro outfits most silly but perfect track that puts a smile on your face no matter what your mood. Who is the world of Scotch equivalent? anCnoc 12 year old

2. Sugar Hill Gang – Rappers Delight

Steals the best Niles Rodgers riffs and blends it with a cracking back beat, adds some lyrical poetry to it and creates the best dance floor groove ever. Johnnie Walker Blue Label.

1. Massive Attack – Unfinished Sympathy

The ultimate end of the night moment. Slows you down and reminds you the good times might have past but they are not yet finished, there’s work to do in the morning. Its strings sound like never ending waves crashing against the shore. It can only be Ardbeg Corryvrecken.

God bless Scotland’s other national drink

Irn Bru, what a bunch of fantastically funny fannies.

irn bru fanny

From The Scotsman:

SOFT drink giant AG Barr is to begin selling thousands of bottles of Irn Bru with the name ‘Fanny’ written on them.

• Irn Bru to begin selling bottles with the name ‘Fanny’ emblazoned on them

• AG Barr manufactured soft drink will also feature other Scottish names on thousands of bottles

In a follow-up to a television campaign that sees people drinking Irn Bru in order to cope with embarrassing social situations, Irn Bru have unveiled the risque packaging and announced other Scottish names would be appearing on the bottles, including ‘Senga’, ‘Rab’ and ‘Tam’.

A spokesman for the soft drink manufacturer said: “We hope our fans enjoy our limited-edition bottles of Irn-Bru, celebrating well-loved Scottish names which mean a lot to us.

“Deliveries have been made across the country for Scots to get a taste of Irn-Bru that they can call their own.”

The stunt bears hallmarks of a similar campaign by Coca Cola, where common British first names can be found on cans of the soft drink.

A televised advert broadcast last year, which drew several complaints, depicts a new father who looks on in horror as his wife announces they are to name their daughter Fanny.

Whisky Comedian Podcast with Hacienda DJs Pickering and Park

At The Stone Roses after show party in The Arches, Glasgow, Whisky Comedian Alan Anderson has a dram with legendary Hacienda dj duo Graeme Park and Mike Pickering of M-People. In the late 1980s and early 1990s these two men were responsible for bringing house music to the masses at the club owned by New Order.

They drink limited editio single malt Scotch whisky Auchentoshan Valinch and Kentucky straight bourbon Knob Creek whilst discussing the similarities between 20 year old clubbers nowadays with those from 25 years ago, seminal tracks such as Bingo Bongo, producers like Derrick May, and club spaces as diverse as Glasgow’s Tramway, Ayr Pavilion and Heaven in London. Of course they talk whisky… and bourbon Woodford reserve, Lagavulin and Balvenie Double Wood. We also learn that Calvin Harris is a big malt maniac. Guess who’s getting tracked down for a podcast?

Big thanks to everyone at Colour / StreetRave especially Julie McEwan and Iain “Boney” Clarke.

mike pickering and graeme park

SIX GRAND for a whisky… Eeek.

This morning I went to Mulberry Bank Auctioneers in Glasgow. They had 575 lots of rare whisky for sale.

One of them went for £6, 000.

SIX GRAND for a whisky… Eeek.

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Granted it is a very rare one.

MACALLAN 50YO MILLENNIUM DECANTER 1 bottle Macallan 50yo Millennium Decanter. In lcokable wooden presentation case with key, brass topped stopper and leaflet. Gold wax and cork seal. 70cl. 43%. Level in original position in the shoulder of the decanter. Pristine condition.Estimate : £5,000.00 – £7,000.00

Is any whisky worth the price of mid range car?